After a pretty crotchety start to my morning cos I was tired, things bucked up a bit as the glorious sunshine streamed in. I went to see K my therapist and told her all my achievements of the week. She seemed really pleased and proud.... but that's not it - even better, I was proud of myself. Eating disorder wise this is a first!!
After eating out with my fam at a Thai restaurant on Tuesday, eating loads and trying bits of everything I was sooooo pleased with what I achieved that it overrode the panic Ed was trying to make me feel.
And every time the panic rose up again, (which it did countless times) I was pretty good at squashing it right back down, and thinking positive thoughts instead.
Once I'd seen K, I of course had to pop into Starbucks for a lil cappuccino treat! I asked for a medium skinny cappuccino, but she obvo didn't hear the skinny bit and made me a full fat one. Well terror struck and I could feel my heart racing. ED was shouting at me "just tell them they made a mistake." "get them to change it" "you CAN'T drink this, you weren't meant to have any snack at all, let alone THIS!" "just think how much weight you put on this week - well next week it will be even MORE!"...... blah blah blah .... So guess what I did? F you Ed. I shall drink it and I shall enjoy it, with chocolate sprinkles on top. And it was actually really nice! tasted way better than it does with skimmed milk haha!
On the way home my car (which gets a little optimistic about the weather to say the least!) tried to tell me that it was 22C outside. You normally have to take like 3C off of what it says to get a more accurate result, but still it was def pretty warm! :D
Tomorrow I get to see my darling Lou for coffee - CAN'T WAIT!!
Love Amy xxx
1 comment:
well done w/ the cxoffee, u show ed who's boss!e proud of urself 4 taking back what is rightfully yours - your life!xxx
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