Well after another week of restricting my diet far far too much, I come home for the easter hols and step on the scales. Queue near meltdown! The number has gone UP and not DOWN!! Ed is devastated, distraught and in utter panic....
... but THEN, Amy's proper voice kicked in. It's just not worth it anymore, I'm not happy, Ed is making me miserable, antisocial, stressed, no energy, unable to concentrate and obsessed. All for what???? My outpatient therapist will not help me unless I try, my family are worried, none oof my friends know/ understandme / respect me for my choices recently. So WHY??
Now is the time for change.
RIGHT. NOW.
I want to have energy to swim, to walk, to laugh, to socialise. I want to be able to relax, sleep, revise so I can do my best in my exams, not stress, go out, look healthy and beautiful, not worry and upset my family, not obsess about food, not fill up my body with so much artificial s*** that is probably damaging me.
So, before I have time to change my mind (because there's obviously still a massive part of me that is having an absolute fit over what I'm doing right now),
LET's DO IT!!
SCREW YOU ED!!
Amz xxxx
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